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Opinion
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| A SHARP STABBING PAIN IN THE CHEST. WRITTEN BY ASHOK RAINA | | | | “More the pain is in my heart
Oh! cannot bear the wounds
When I asked to cores and hubs
caused me more wounds to my heart”.
Yes, often every heart's painful stories are of different types but some painful stories usually create a lot of edges by making them historical places, and instead of healing the wounds of the heart when remembered, they create more wounds when remembered.
I am once again reminded of that horrifying night of 1990 which forced me to flee suddenly leaving me half asleep in the middle of a very cold wind night.
Was the decision I made at that time not wrong? And this thought is troubling me a lot even today and is bothering me the most.
That after leaving the house, within a few moments on the road, it started tormenting me a lot and everyone knows how many hardships one has to face once one steps out of the house, but if I talk about myself, then it forced me to cross so many moments and endure so many tortures which neither I nor anyone else had to imagine. The moment of trouble, a sharp stabbing pain in the chest, is still alive in my heart.
The condition of the homeless Kashmiri Pandits was just like mine. The wounds in everyone's hearts were deep and some were dying on the way due to the scorching heat. Some were thirsty and some were desperate to satiate their hunger.
Sometimes time has made us sit on thorns and sometimes to make us sleep on stones, sometimes we slept hungry and naked and sometimes the winds have broken our sleep.
Even after 35 years have passed, we are not able to forget the memories. The way we were treated during these past years is making us even more sad and I especially still feel like an outsider. There is no change in the situation that was there 35 years ago.
If you ask my heart how are you, my answer will be that my condition is miserable and very bad. I have spent time but I was not allowed to spend it. After spending half of my life in camp camps with torn old clothes, I have been forced to live a very watchful life by stepping on the government's customary steps.
It is pertinent to mention here that several successive governments have been formed in Jammu and Kashmir in the last 35 years but the sad part is that no government has taken care of us till date. On the one hand, we were facing the troubled by the situations prevailed due to rendered homeless, while on the other hand, in such challengeable raised situation we have to make to overcome from all troubles after getting education, the problem of unemployment was biting us like a snake from within.
After being homeless and facing many difficulties, I hurriedly got higher education and made many efforts to get a government job in the country and it is a matter of pride that I worked very hard day and night, participated in the recruitment process and passed many exams at the national level, but the spread of corruption engulfed me and badly destroyed my dream life. Even today many questions are arising in my mind about who was given the government jobs and are hurting me badly by tearing my heart apart.
“How do I decorate the waves? Of my heart
I don't know
If you distinguish, ask me too.
I'm miserable myself
To understand the reality around me.”
What is happening in this country is very interesting and surprising. Till date, many illiterate leaders have come and done some work. Many officers have been appointed to government jobs mysteriously and through backdoor entries. Many times, courts were misled for vested interest till date, yellow journalism production has produced the new crop of future at present. You know, during my whole exile period I was restrained from doing any job or any business in my own country and deliberate attempts were made against me to restrain me from freedom of expression. The maximum illiterate unemployed youths were absorbed in the public sector. In India education is meaningless. The fake doctors have also surprised the country at large at present. The real doctors and technician staff left to go abroad for a job and lakhs of employees are working in many foreign states due to lack of their interest to work in the puzzled corrupted created state.
Many challenges still have been put on to bring notice to start knocking on every door like doormats.
Hello!
What is the cure for all this now”
A sharp stabbing pain is in the chest.
(The author of this article is Ashok Raina Editor of daily Northern Times) | | | | |
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